Last night I was faced with a scenario that left me questioning everything I’ve ever done as a Mother. Every choice. Every moment. I felt like an utter failure. In that moment I felt like everything I had ever done as a Mother was wrong. I had failed my kids.
As Moms, we pour all of ourselves into our kids. Everything we do, say, and teach is what our kids become. That’s some heavy stuff. And a heck of a lot of responsibility…..and pressure.
Last night, I found myself stuck in ONE instance – one moment in time – a blip on the map of this life. I was stuck and couldn’t see passed what was happening right then. I could only see the negative in that situation, and it temporarily crippled me. Me as a person. Me as a Mom.
But then someone (a very close someone) reminded me that this is just one moment. This isn’t forever. She helped remind me of all the great qualities that my kids possess – qualities that they learned from ME.
Your kids might be struggling in school, or maybe your 5-year-old is so attached to you he can’t do or try anything new without your being right there by his side. Maybe they throw themselves on the floor in target because you won’t buy them a candy bar. Perhaps they don’t do what the other kids their age do. They’re not as athletic. Or smart. Or social.
You might be judged by other parents for the choices you make, or the way your kids behave or react in certain social situations. They may even laugh.
But do your kids know they’re loved? Are they nurtured? And provided for? Do they smile? Do they laugh? Are they kind to others? Are they respectful? Do they believe your kisses have magical powers and can instantly heal wounds? Do they bring you indescribable joy that no one could ever possibly comprehend no matter how hard they tried?!
Then ya know what? You’re doing alright. That makes you an awesome Mama.
They’re bound to do things that humiliate us and make us want to shrivel up and disappear. But at the end of the day, when I tuck these turkeys in bed – they are everything I’ve ever wanted. And I will gladly continue pouring all of me into them. I will gladly be judged by other parents who think I’m doing it all wrong. I will intentionally see their attributes and what I know they have to offer this world. I will teach them to be daring yet cautious. To dream dreams of colossal proportions. And how to both be loved and to love back. This is what makes me an awesome Mom. No matter what happens in the day-to-day. This is my new focus. And it should yours too.
I felt compelled to share this today. I’ve been blessed with people in my life who help me navigate my way through Motherhood. People who don’t judge me when I’m rocking in the corner in the fetal position because I’m so overwhelmed and exhausted.
So – remember. Today might be hard. Really hard. Your kids miiiiiiight make you wish you were swallowed up by a sinkhole. Too much? Yeah, maybe. No matter what you wish would swallow you up – today is temporary. Cherish it. See through the bad and find the good. Your job as Mom is a hard one. The hardest. So treat yourself to a cupcake (you’ll probably have to eat it in the closet though because if THEY see it, they’ll want one too. And then they’ll lick the icing off the top and crumble the rest of it all over the floor. Then you’ll have to vacuum. Then they’ll need a bath because while you were vacuuming their mess, they ate the icing off yours and got it in their hair. So yeah. You deserve a cupcake in the closet! Sink hole anyone?)
You’re doing a good job, Mama.